so free for the moment

Since English books are kind of hard to find around here, I've been reading a lot of things I normally wouldn't. One of the bookstores in a nearby city has a small bargain book bin that's generally full of a random selection of English books, so when I go there I take a few that look interesting (actually I'm going again later today, but the train doesn't come until 11:40 so I'm posting instead). I tend to get a wide range of quality doing that... I've picked up some books I normally wouldn't have read but that turned out to be really good, some that kind of sucked, and some that were meh.

Recently I finished reading a particular book. It wasn't a badly written book or a terrible read, I was just totally boggled and disgusted by the ending. Am I supposed to be? Am I just the entirely wrong audience?

( Cut for spoilers and disgust, and now more homophobia! Hooray! )

It was raining hard this morning.

I grabbed my umbrella on the way out, stuck it in the umbrella stand at my junior high school. Then I left again to go to the elementary school I was working at for the day - but my umbrella wasn't there, a student had taken it to go out and use while hitting the bell (which my school does at the beginning and end of every day, it sounds like a gong, and it's outside so if it's raining the students assigned will just borrow an umbrella from the teacher's entrance since it's closest.)

So I took someone else's umbrella, since there were a million there and I'd be back before the end of the day.

By the time I left the elementary school, it was sunny, and so I forgot the other umbrella there.

Whoops. :\

At least it wasn't a nice one? It was cheap clear plastic, so I don't feel too bad... plus everyone in Japan has like twelve umbrellas because they fear the rain.

More importantly, Kelsey is coming to visit me in August! YAAAAAAAY! I'm so happy, you have no idea!! I'm thinking of good places for us to go in Tokyo and here. It'll be so much fun!

The reason Japanese music shows are the best ever:

"So, you guys debuted 10 years ago today! Congratulations! And you're going to perform your new song later, that's great!

But first, we polled 100 drag queens to find out which one of you they'd want most as a boyfriend. Let's see the results! :D"

It's always entertaining.

So one of the nearby towns, Inasa, is sister cities with Chehalis. Because of that, a lot of the teachers in my schools have been to Washington State, though they only make a quick trip through Seattle on the way there. Yesterday (well, the day before, now), I was talking with the principal of one of my elementary schools and another teacher about the teacher's trip there. She talked about how Chehalis is very 'inaka' ('out in the sticks', more or less, it's one of those words that almost all foreigners here use too, as a noun and an adjective - for example, I live in the inaka and my town is very inaka), and then asked me how Seattle was, compared to that.

I could've told them plenty of things, my usual favorite being explaining that Starbucks is from Seattle (most Japanese do not know this, though Starbucks is EVERYWHERE in Japan). Or I could've told them that Seattle is the biggest city in Washington, there are lots of people, etc.

But apparently all I needed to say was that Seattle is sister cities with Kobe, which in addition to being a big port city is also supposedly the fashion capital of Japan (despite what Allie may say).

That prompted simultaneous exclamations of "Oshare! (Fashionable!)" from the principal and the teacher. Now they think Seattle is a very fashionable city, and I didn't have the heart to correct them.

Sorry, guys. Be more fashionable, please, or you will disappoint my coworkers.

And now you know 'inaka' and 'oshare', two important Japanese words. You're welcome.

Today I worked at one of my elementary schools, and afterwards I went to the store because I have no food. At the store, I ran into one of my students from the school, one of the fifth graders - I think. She might have been a sixth grader. I asked her if today had been fun, and she said yes. I thanked her, and she was quiet for a second and then told me that she LOVED English. I told her that made me really happy, and we parted ways.

It made me so happy, you guys. ;_; Particularly since elementary school English often feels pretty pointless. You don't visit the kids often and they have no reason to remember anything, so they usually don't. In junior high, no matter what they've learned, they start from scratch again.

Her school in particular is one that I have trouble with, which made it even better. I visit there twice as often as most of my other elementary schools, so I have to make twice as many lesson plans, which means that sometimes the lesson plans... well, aren't that great. The kids at the school are hard to teach, too - not because they don't like me, but because they do and they express it by having WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY ALL THE TIME. So at the end of the day (like today), I'm usually tired and have a sore throat from yelling over them.

So that made me feel like my day was worth it. Thank you, little girl. You are now my favorite student in that school.

Oh, also I went to visit Allie in Hokkaido for Golden Week, and lost my jacket and hairbrush. Drink in moderation, guys, drink in moderation. It was awesome, though. Hokkaido is like another land that has lots of 'Hokkaido only' stuff and special horrible mascots with hard-ons. I will always remember it.

Okay. Who sent me the amazingly awesome Serenity Valley postcard? It's so cool! But it's unsigned and there's no identifying information! Whoever you are, thank you. I will treasure it and show it to all my nerdy friends. If you tell me who you are, I'll send you something in return. Something wonderful and Japanese.

Also, you have very nice handwriting.

So, Japan's kind of a racist place. I mean, completely setting aside the way white Westerners are treated (like aliens, but cool aliens - you're definitely not ever normal or Japanese, but hey, you're COOL!) - well, once upon a time I did a crappy presentation with Allie about Japan's hilarious treatment of black people and American Indians. (Relatedly: I went to the Takarazuka Zorro play, and it managed to have hilariously bad portrayals of both Mexicans AND Indians, so it was lucky that I went with a half-Mexican girl.) But anyway, that's pretty bad all on its own, bad enough that as you can see I generally am unable to do anything but laugh and laugh.

But racism against Koreans and Chinese people, that's where Japan really shines.

Not too long ago, I was eating lunch with a boy, and he told me he didn't like Chinese people. I asked why, and he said it was because they were 'selfish and lazy'. Luckily this baffled not only me, but his fellow students at the lunch table, and we discovered it was because the Chinese boy who transferred to the school this year is in his club, and he doesn't do much. But uh. That kid can't even speak Japanese, go easy on him!

Anyway, that was just a little thing, said to me by a boy who has also told me that his goal in life is to become Duelist King. It's sad that a kid that young says stuff like that, and I do hope he'll change as he gets older... but I kind of doubt it. Because, well.

Last night, I went to an enkai (work drinking party, basically, it's an awesome Japanese custom). Halfway through, after he'd gotten pretty drunk, one of the Japanese English teachers comes up to me and says, "Can you tell Chinese and Koreans from Japanese?"
Me: Not really by their faces, but sometimes by the clothes they wear. (One of my Japanese teachers back in the day confessed that this was the only way SHE could tell, too.)
Him: I can tell you! The Koreans are the ones that always stand in groups in places like hotel lobbies and talk REALLY LOUD!
Me: Um... okay...
Him: And I know how to be Chinese! :D
Me: *hesitantly* Yes...?
Him: Just be really rude ALL THE TIME! Ahahahahaha!
Me: A...haha? :(

I do not get it and never will. I extricated myself from that situation by talking to another teacher about his new wife, which was much more entertaining for me.

Another teacher: He just got married! Happy marriage!
Newly-married teacher: Hmm, I don't know if it's happy or not. *clearly being modest*
Me: I heard that she's kind and pretty! You are lucky!
Newly-married teacher: ...my dog's name is Lucky. 8D

Most of the time, the teachers are just really, really strange and funny when they're drunk. So... yeah. Thanks for your weird racism, Japan. I'll just be over here being uncomfortable.

So, today was the 3rd year students' farewell assembly... party... thing. It was pretty great. I don't know if all schools in Japan do this, but I hope they do. Basically it's a fun little show for the graduating 3rd years, and man, it was awesome. There was a play (where people learned Important Life Lessons, pretty much what you'd expect from middle school), weird games with teachers, slideshows of pictures of the students, that kind of stuff.

And then three of the boys on the student council sang this song, completely with wigs and matching silver dresses. They also did the dance:



It was amazing. I did not expect to see three fourteen-year-old boys in drag today, and yet I did. Thanks, Japan!

Edit: Also, at the part on the video where glitter falls on them, another boy ran across the stage behind them throwing glitter. JUST SO YOU KNOW.

So yesterday I was talking to one of the teachers at one of my elementary schools, and we were talking about my parents (since they were around the same age as this teacher). He asked me what my father did (didn't ask what my mom did, as Japanese males of a certain age tend to do), and then asked a question that I haven't ever gotten from a Japanese person before - "So where is he from?"

This surprised me and gave me the feeling he must be pretty familiar with Americans. I mean, I know that Japanese people are aware that America is an immigrant-created country, but they don't really think of it the way we do. In the US, it always eventually comes up - "Where did your parents/grandparents/great-grandparents come from?" And (white) people will say they're Irish or German or whatever, when in fact their ancestors came over so long ago that they don't have much/any trace of the culture left. But it's a big deal for some people, even if it personally makes me roll my eyes. Japanese people don't think about that, though - if you're from the US, you're American. Period. No one here has ever asked me where my parents came from.

So I said, "He's from America."

Then we did the little conversational dance that happens a lot, where people clarify, "No, I meant where did he come from BEFORE that, where did his parents come from?" and I say "America" until they catch on... but because this guy's English wasn't that great, I took pity on him and explained quickly. He was shocked and told me that I should tell EVERYONE because he'd never met an Indian and I had totally blown his mind. I dunno if I'm really Indian enough to blow anyone's mind, but it was a pretty interesting experience anyway. Got me thinking.

Also today my students made me laugh. At them. We were at lunch, I was sitting at a table I don't usually sit at, and the boys there were trying to get up the courage and English skill to ask me a question.

I still don't understand how they haven't REALIZED I know Japanese yet, but anyway. They're talking to each other - "Ask her if she knows Tomoki's name! Ask her!" This goes on for awhile, and they finally asked me - "Do you know his name?" and I just cracked up.

Guys. GUYS. If you want to throw a little name quiz my way, don't USE THEIR NAME over and over again before asking. HOW DO YOU NOT YET KNOW I UNDERSTAND JAPANESE?! I didn't know his name before, but thanks to you I do now.

They were shocked that I did in fact know Tomoki's name, though. SHOCKED.

Yesterday I taught at one of my elementary schools, and got a ride back to the junior high (and my house) by one of the teachers. Instead of the vice principal, who usually takes me, the young (24) male office worker did (vice principal had a meeting). On the way back, we were seen by a large portion of the junior high school students, who were on their way home.

I assumed I'd hear something about it, but had forgotten until lunch time today, when H. came running up to me to tell me that she had seen me. In a car. WITH A MAN!! WHO WAS HE?!

I told her the truth, but now I regret that... I should have lied. Oh, the fun I could have had.

Later I had a moment with another student who I'm friendly with, A. We were doing comparatives, and the Japanese teacher had written "I like natto the best" on the board as an example sentence. I caught A.'s eye at just the right moment and we both sighed and shook our heads sadly, sharing our dislike of natto and our pity for those poor misguided souls who like it.

The Japanese teacher laughed at us.

So you know how a lot of parents don't want their kids to date before a certain age? Because they aren't ready yet, or something... well, I am here to tell you the real reason.

The real reason is because your teacher will tease you until you die. Or at least, that's what I do.

I'm friendly with a lot of my students - mostly the girls, the boys don't really know what to do with me, except for a couple of the more outgoing ones (who are hilarious, including the one who will shout "Amanda! Amanda! HELP! HELP!" from across the classroom when he needs, say, the correct spelling for a word). One girl (I'll call her "H.") recently told me all about her crush, and pointed him out to me, and then swore me to secrecy.

A couple weeks later, ALL her friends decided to tell me that she and her crush went out!! On a DATE!! And now they are boyfriend and girlfriend, and "love love"!! H. gets really, really embarrassed whenever anyone mentions this.

So naturally, both I and all her friends tease her about it whenever possible. It was especially fun this past week, since of course it's almost Valentine's Day. AND in addition, her class' homeroom teacher is getting married (on Valentine's Day). One of her friends decided that H. would be marrying her new boyfriend on the day AFTER their sensei's wedding, and I teased her about that at lunch today. All my conversations with students are conducted about half in broken English and half in broken Japanese, so this is edited to make sense...

Me: K-sensei is getting married this weekend, are you excited? (All his students are going to the wedding.)
H.: Yes, yes! Happy wedding!
Me: And then you get married on Sunday.
H.: NO! Amanda! No! *very seriously* I am fourteen.
Me: Yes, you are.
H.: I am fourteen, I can't get married.
Me: Oh, okay. I understand. *pause* So... next year?
H.: NO! AMANDA!
H.'s friend: *walks up behind us* H. and [H.'s boyfriend's name]! Love love! Happy wedding!
Me: Yes! Ahahaha!
H.: NO! No "yes"! No "Ahahaha!"

I love it when the kids imitate me laughing. I laugh at them a lot, and for some reason it's hilarious to me.

Later, she told me that her friend was a "child devil". I told her I was an adult devil, and she said that was wrong, I was an angel. A beautiful, cute, sexy angel.

My favorite thing is that I can tease the students just as much as their friends do, and yet their friends become devils and I am an angel. It is awesome.

• 07:41 YAY IT'S FRIDAY :D #
• 16:23 It was a good Friday too! Free snacks at school, the kids were hilarious, and when I went back to the jr high I got: AMANDA YOU ARE SEXY! #
• 16:25 My jr high kids like to say "sexy". I just let them. Story of my life: sekuhara from 13 year olds. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:30 I had a surprise observation by my company today! Luckily I wasn't a bad teacher until AFTER she left. #
• 16:31 ...when I let a couple of the girls talk to me about their crushes for 10 minutes instead of doing their worksheets. But it was funny! #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:24 My vice principal has a seafood allergy. How does he live in Japan?! #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:32 @urbandecay You definitely did nothing wrong. But it's okay to cry sometimes. #
• 16:33 @windburn WTF! Are those SPIDERS? D: Why would you think of me? #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:59 I had a surprise elementary school visit today! It wasn't on my schedule! #
• 17:00 And one of the kids had a shirt with a really bad cartoon Indian that said "Native Stay Away" on it. Oh, Japan. #
• 17:00 If I were meaner I could have had a lot of fun with that shirt. But he was only in 2nd grade. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 22:11 @urbandecay I want to come there again. :( And you should rest your hands! #
• 22:12 @windburn Burning me to death is not going to solve my cold-weather problem. #
• 16:31 Today I bonded with my students over how cold it is. :( #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 22:12 @urbandecay Nooo stop hurting yourself! You and Aggy are accident-prone. :( #
• 16:32 @windburn I made you sick. I'm sorry... :( #
• 16:33 Two great Japanese things: heated drinks in vending machines and heated toilet seats. #
• 16:33 In other news, I'M COLD. #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 16:40 It's so cold today. And I had no work to do. I kept hoping I'd get sent home, but no such luck... #
• 16:40 People loved my omiyage though! Thanks Aggy. :D #
• 16:41 @windburn @urbandecay You guys need to stop hurting yourselves. :( #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

• 19:52 I just learned my best friend has a new boyfriend! :D Go her! #
• 19:54 @urbandecay But I drink milk all day long. :( #
• 19:54 And GUYS I am safe! :D There was no tsunami! And if there were, I'd just surf on the wave! #
• 12:42 My finger hurts! It makes it hard to type. :( #
• 13:41 I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow... #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter